Homily for Tuesday, October 27, 2026
Ephesians 5:21-33
I once heard a panel discussion with some talking heads, one of which was a bishop. This bishop (sadly not of our own denomination) would, every time he disagreed with a panel member, begin with the statement “I say this with all love and respect”. A wonderful two-part approach to his fellow human, and the instruction on relationships according to the Apostle in today’s first reading.
Husbands – love your wives. Wives – respect your husbands. Love and respect – a godly relationship. Consider your family and your personal relationships as an incarnated reflection of your faith, that Christ is your Head and your Bridegroom, and seek to fit yourself into that pattern.
Would you believe, however, that this is a controversial teaching, both within the Church as well as in the broader society? (Probably! I am under no illusion that I live under a Bible-shaped rock!)
While many might cringe at the commandment “Wives, submit to your husbands”, and pull out any number of academic papers that accuse this commandment of the cause of relational breakdown, it is actually the opposite. When wives no longer respect their husbands, then the relationship breaks down. When husbands no longer love their wives, then the relationship breaks down. When a relationship no longer sees itself as a reflection of the relationship between Christ and his Church, then it breaks down. And you do not need to look far to see the incredible damage this has caused.
Men are drifting, lost, without purpose and hope. Women, so proud in the independence of their youth, are now mourning the loss of the family they spent so much time and effort to avoid. One of the most successful movies this year was a horror movie about some young men and women that had no idea how to function properly in their relationships with one another. The death of Biblical relationships has led to the death of our society.
Into this speaks the apostle, and the Church should wear this proudly: “let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” It is subversive, it is controversial, it is offensive, it is pure punk-rock, and it is the pattern of God in the lives of human beings.
The Church is dying. Look around – it is plain for all to see. But as Chesterton famously said somewhere, the Church specialises in resurrection. Let us die, insofar as we shake off the cowardice around biblical relationships. May this poisonous ideology towards relationships be banished from our churches. May the Church rise again, telling young men that they have a noble purpose in life to lead and serve a family as Christ leads and serves the Church. May the Church resurrect from the grave of capital-f Feminist oppression, liberating young women to be who God made them to be.
The reason why this is so important is because, as the apostle says, it reflects our understanding of Christ Jesus.
...Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendour, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
May we submit to our Lord Jesus Christ in all things, relationships especially, so that we might be presented to him, holy and without blemish.